writer’s block

i’m not going to sugar coat it.

to tell you that it’s just a case of writers block

would be the farthest from the truth.

the ideas of new overflow in my head;

the ability to write has seemed to have temporary disappeared

something’s missing when she isn’t here with me.

like hurdling a wall that can’s even be climbed,

the frustration mounts as the ideas get blocked by distractions.

the audience awaits for another desired rhyme,

but the stage sits empty.

just is the momentary season of without

and a life without is just that -just.

i sit with my pen and paper,

and all i do is just stare at a blank piece of imagination.

looking for that moment of breakthrough that brings another fulfilling story.

letters drawn up to form words,

but the words have nowhere to go,

and draw up the incompletion instead.

mumble jumble nonsense goes nowhere

and the thought of the stories once written mislead.

i’ve sat in this chair night after night,

trying my best to complete just a paragraph or two,

and i can’t even do that.

//

her memory makes me smile

her memory makes me desire.

her eyes, her smile

and the way her hand fits in mine.

i can still feel her under the flannel sheets

as the fire crackles through the wine glass clinks

we drank a toast to the past, and we drank a toast to the future

i can still feel her under the flannel sheets.

the laughs always came in conversation

and the tears always would fall when talk about the parting.

two hours behind and yet what seems like 10,000 miles in between.

her memory makes me smile

her memory makes me desire.

her eyes, her smile

and the way her hand fits in mine.

i can still feel her under theses flannel sheets.

//

in winter’s cold and snowy landscape,

there sat my cabin.

outside;

blanketed by the over night snow.

and did you know, inside,

it’s warm and woodsy,

the fire roars and heats the frozen thoughts i pen out .

a passionate kiss;

the moment when her lips touches mine

the way we hold each other when we sleep;

now a loving memory and a desired hope to be again.

but i’m not going to sugar coat it.

to tell you that it’s just a case of writers block

would be the farthest from the truth.

the ideas of new overflow in my head;

the ability to write has seemed to have temporary disappeared

something’s missing when she isn’t here with me.

like hurdling a wall that can’s even be climbed,

the frustration mounts as the ideas get blocked by distractions.

the audience awaits for another desired rhyme,

but the stage sits empty.

just is the momentary season of without

c 2017 bgw

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though these woods

through these woods i walk;

distractions disappear

and thoughts quickly fly around

as i catch them in a sighed squawk.

//

through these, autumn colours fall

i have committed these trespasses

and put myself on this stake

and under the fire of regret, i will burn

//

the faces in the window

are the ones that are recognized in remembering what once was;

but know i can not continue

seeking for what i had; who’s to say we were fair?

//

through these woods i walk;

woods of thick brush and mighty trees; here stands my life.

autumn colours and thick evergreen fur

i stand in the woods i created; lost and sorry

//

through these woods i walk;

distractions disappear

and thoughts quickly fly around

as i catch them in a sighed squawk

//

a future will be haunted everyday

from what was a beautiful yesterday;

for yesterday had you there

and regrets that i hold, i can not carry

//

the snow began to fall quietly as i headed back to the cabin.

and there, i brushed off the chill and sat by the fire.

for yesterday had you there

regrets that i hold, i can not carry and i am sorry.

//

through these woods i walk;

distractions disappear

and thoughts quickly fly around

as i catch them in a sighed squawk

c. 2017 bgw

when winter lives in summer

the fireplace crackles

while the snow lightly fell outside the window;

each flake gently settling on the ground,

oh, when winter lives in summer!

what can i say about you?

nothing that i haven’t already said before, but can never say it enough.

the sparkling coloured eyes that looks into my eyes,

always whispering a thousand unspoken words!

a gentle tapping rain hitting the skylight,

quickly fills in the silence of the interrupted sleep.

the reflection of the beating of each others hearts,

exposed the nervousness within.

the candlelight flickers as it shows the smile, the grin;

exposing the beauty that is you.

you are so beautiful.

you are the desire that fills my emotion;

the way she whispers her words, the soft touch of  her hands,

caressing the mind and body.

this  passion filling our voids, needs and desires.

here within my hands,

it is you that i am holding close!

tonight,  here we are.

in some founded deep desire,

the passion

acts on the feelings within;

here i am!

your soft skin, your gentle kiss.

the warmth, the honesty.

here we are like some puzzle piece,

her hand fitting perfect in mine;

a gentle squeeze,  and i feel safe.

her face angelic,  and I’m lost within her eyes again.

endless thoughts and unbounded emotions cover my mind like a thick fog rolling into a cityscape;

she seeped through the cracks of  voidance,

everything i kept to myself,

everything i kept private

and everything behind everything in my life,  she knew all about it.

i wasn’t supposed to let that happen!

and yet she found a way in.

every physical moment apart,  she’s there,  knocking at the thought,

and every moment together is just never long enough!

the passion rises

as the sun sets below the sailing schooner’s deck.

the clink of a wine glass toast;

a dinner for two.

a drop of wax drips down the side of the candle,

flickering flame.

romance is endless like the sea.

her hair flows in the sailing breeze.

her face of electrifying beauty,

draws the desire deeper within my soul.

lost in the stars twilight,

the moonlight shimmer’s across the water’s surface.

she is my island,  my paradise.

she turns a cluster of words that scatter inside my head,

into a  poetic prose that is her; perfectly stated,

but never coming close to her breathtaking beauty.

so, what can i say about her?

nothing that i haven’t already said before but  i can never say it enough.

she makes me feel free.

she is the music to my words,  and i need her.

the fireplace crackles

while the snow lightly fell outside the window;

each flake gently settling on the ground,

oh, when winter lives in summer!

c. 2017  BGW

a broken heart sinks and the disappearing dream blinks

hello to yesterday;

wake up and say good morning

work days ways;

gentle was the night –

when the moon shone bright!

these bouquets of flowers

aren’t gonna rebuild what was torn down/

break apart

concrete driveways

and pea gravel pathways;

i wont

because you did

i wont

because we broke

maybe

maybe i just didn’t

put the “and” between

you and me

//

it’s been awhile

but nothing really has changed

broken heart sinks and the disappearing dream blinks

the sharp shattering of a soul full of hope;

and yet i still stand

//

maybe

ill wake in the morning,

stretch and yawn.

shave my face till the dream cuts and bleeds out

//

ill shower and let the hot water wash away the work day

dry myself off and sit naked on the couch;

putting the gun in my mouth

and let all the thoughts and memories splatter onto the wall

//

if you ever wonder where i am

don’t ever think twice

i’ll be gone but here hiding

i’ll be here, still thinking of you

i’m here, still thinking about you

//

hello to yesterday

wake up and say good morning

work days ways;

gentle was the night –

when the moon shone bright

these bouquets of flowers

aren’t gonna rebuild what was torn down

break apart

concrete driveways

and pea gravel pathways;

i wont

because you did

i wont

because we broke

maybe

maybe i just didn’t

2017  bgw

i’m not falling asleep

i’m not falling asleep;

the freight train passes through

slumbered harvested fields.

a distant gate lowers as the whistle blows.

blinking lights blinds flashes,

and i am not falling asleep.

London sirens sounded

as the last kiss grounded.

closed eyed years that pass

i found you there;

and now in the missing i hope for you.

boarders call out such

and found me without.

i had it all in a hush

and yet eventually left me without much

I’m not falling asleep;

day dreaming where everyone’s got something.

interstate miles date;

and sink within all your jet sets,

lights, camera, action to all skyscraper lifts

once where i was typing through blank pages

where i read through rough copies;

through all fictional capers

there somewhere did it all live once

in true heart beating,

i set my eyes on you

but i am not falling asleep

c.2016 bgw

 

 

where the memory stings somewhere between you and me

between the thin glass,

candlelight flickers

and monstrous dreams seep between red wine sips.

reminiscing through kept images of a popped up memory,

songs dance with a deep emotion in the present.

the warmth of the Christmas dressed fireplace,

the crackling fire spews and pops sparks;

a memory walked into the neighborhood

and found a cul-de-sac roundabout of a snow covered past.

memories drove around

and made tracks in the snow.

my eyes trace the falling flakes

from the softly gently frosting window viewed.

the Canadian highway ran through my mind

as the heartland’s frost falls heavy on the silo’s hibernation.

guilt and honesty

never knew each other well

but i found myself between the two.

honesty drank until the guilt awoke;

guilt was blind when honesty never showed.

:kisses rose in the sunlight:

and haunted my soul under a polarized moon.

 ice crystals fall

and drips itself over the icicles hanging a distant memory.

somewhere between you and me

self-inflicted pain

took off in an unmanned plane;

somewhere between you and me.

between the thin glass,

candlelight flickers

and monstrous illusions seep between red wine sips.

reminiscing through kept images of a popped up memories

somewhere between you and me

c.2016  bgw

between the angels and devils

sight sought in morning sunrise;

light was delayed

in early morning grey.

the silence of autumn frost covered

while anonymous thinking of all the listed worries gained.

coffee brew drips

as the rain drop sips.

overnight dreams that were built and seen

seep into canyon grooves

where angels and devils dance together;

warm under covers was a founded escaped.

//

sleepless tides born to rise

fall to shore, made to die;

keep moonlit sands calling for more.

wake from a dream –

open the door;

the past came knocking.

as the candle flickers

and saw the shadows dancing above

it sends chills down a sleepless spine.

the dusty for rent sign hangs

in the blackened hallway;

questions and doubt walk hand in hand.

the fallen autumn leaves pile up

on the ground below.

the frost has come and kicked them aside.

soon the snows will cover all the sees.

//

sight sought in morning sunrise;

light was delayed

in early morning grey.

the silence of autumn frost covered

while anonymous thinking of all the listed worries gained.

coffee brew drips

as the rain drop sips.

overnight dreams that were built and seen

seep into canyon grooves

where angels and devils dance together

c. 2016 bgw

slowly closer

i fell for her

and i kept on falling.

the loud dinner scene

drifted into a surrounding whisper hush.

her eyes told a story;

she read my soul.

afterwards

we walked the along the shore;

 when the moonlight kissed the sunlight goodnight

the waves crash softly upon the sands

and blankets our footsteps.

our hands gently held tightly.

under the sky that held the universe,

under all the stars that shine and fall;

i stopped to look at her breathtaking elegance.

the moonshine sparkled deep into her eyes.

my fingers softly dance up her arm

 to where my hand softly holds her face.

slowly closer

our quivering lips kiss

and i can feel her heartbeat.

caution set sail long ago

and now met up with the lighthouse’s lure.

i fell for her

and i kept on falling.

the loud dinner scene

drifted into a surrounding whisper hush.

 as i told her a story

her eyes read my soul

and found my heart.

c. 2016 bgw

nothing more

it was nothing more than an idea.

declaring it as a “never could be” –

even before it started.

when opportunity knocked,

you did not answer.

the time was made to believe

that somebody really cared.

and yet all that was left

when i looked back at her;

was a lonely soul who really

just hides behind their fears.

the pieces from a past were being picked up;

one puts it all back together

with the glue of the things that were planed.

i was nothing more than a notion.

and you were that someone

that gave me hope once again.

and yet i was blind to see

that you would be that someone

that would break me down again.

 yet i was blind to see

that “fool” was written on my face;

and you were up there not even second guessing it.

it was nothing more than an idea.

i was nothing more than a notion.

c.2016  bgw

stay with me

stay with me –

these dreams are real.

a fucking heavy presents breathes a past that haunts

and scares away any promising future.

oh – there you are;

stay with me.

i felt your touch once before

perhaps while the midnight moon

came and sought the waves coming ashore.

 moonshine gulped up the plea;

didn’t you see?,

the sunrise engulfed any reason

and yet i am still left alone

to give you my all..

c. 2016 bgw