when the mind stays awake

 

in the snow covered garden

the winter melts away

slowly the whiteness goes away

sunshine peaks its face and  says hello

and presents the green grass  of  spring

and while my body sleeps,  my mind stays wide awake

 

my body sleeps and yet my mind stays wide awake

 

i dreamt of a warm touch,

a bridge from what was and what was to dream

a  black and white photograph

ah! there we were

soft as a whisper

loud as an echo –

caught under the spring rain

 

where can you find me?

 

all through the summer

in a wheat field solo

only where dreams meet me –

remember a september

walking through the cool alley ways

down to the river’s bed

i held your hand

 

only can i see

in a town that is

only to a place that is,

only from my window paine

can i see what ive left behind,

and yet everything  i found

the time of what is and was us,

left me blind

 

the eyes that are blind

fire arises and seeks its worth

your liking now only rebirths

the sunlight,  turns to  lamplight

and any found comments get declined

but my eyes are still on you and your game

 

if i still love you

what can i do?

all the things in the past

didn’t last,  oh!

incoherent words and phrases confuse

and as i  turn the heads

but stand strong through the poetic rhyme

 

if my image was to be taken away

i’d still be –

if i was all but  to drain away –

today

everything will still move on

time will still tick,  and the colours will stay the same

and yet everything  of mine  will stay in a field day

 

in the snow-covered garden

the winter will go away

and the sunshine quickly comes says its hello

and presents the green grass  of  spring

all while my body sleeps,  my mind stays wide awake

 

somewhere  i can find you

through this cityscape window

a paradise that awaits

where i found you

that’s also where i lost you

in between the tall buildings and the busy business avenues

that’s where i last saw you

and gave your last kiss

 

words are just words

sliding in some thought inside my world

the right will find the left

and stumble on the tomorrow,  oh !

i’ll move forward,  if i see you again

you’ll see my smile cover the spaces

all in the missing places

 

in the snow covered garden

the winter melts away

slowly the whiteness goes away

sunshine peaks its face and  says hello

and presents the green grass  of spring

my body sleeps and yet my mind stays wide awake

 

my body sleeps and yet my mind stays wide awake

 

 

c.2014  bgw

fool’s paradise

 

jet plane

crawls across the bright blue sky

jet plane

leaving a faint white line behind

we know where you’ve been.

leaving a faint white line behind

it all disappears as you glide  on by

gone,

gone,

gone

 

sunrise

slowly peaks its light into sky’s darkness

sunrise

shine down the warmth on my face.

dancing with clouds high above

shine down the warmth on my face

sunrise till the noonday –   the sunset takes you home

move on,

move on,

moved on,

 

paradise

always thinking it was on an island

paradise

in the garden that was only my mind

made me blind,  i left myself behind –

in the garden that was only my mind

the only paradise i gave blind to and left behind

 

oh!,  jet plane you are gone,

into the sunrise of some other paradise,

and here’s to tomorrow  –  we all must move on –  moving on,

move on

 

 

c.  2014   bgw

out on the beach

52

. . . . . the sun rises slowly, and cracks its light  just above the watered horizon.   the twilight of the night slowly fades into the mixture of  orange,  pink,  soft purple, a  new days dawn.  the crescent of the moon,  the twinkle of a nearby star.  i wake way before the alarm was set to go off.   i let you and the baby sleep,  as i quietly throw on a shirt and shorts and head out to the beach side patio to clear my mind;  finding  a peace that can only be found on the beach.   the sky is God’s canvas,  and every morning is a different painting.   everyday different from the day before.  the lighting,  the clouds and the point where the sun rises from.  and i wanted to see it all in action.  i  kick off my sandals and head for the sands.  the smell of the saltwater calms,  the sounds of the wave crashing ashore erases my thoughts of work  and the quietness of the beach before the circus come rushing  in,  frees me.   the waves that crash ashore  quickly  rush  up past to where my feet make prints .  my footsteps slowly sinking into the wetted sands,  the gentle breeze of the sea makes landfall,  and the bent grass rustles.   i walk with my thoughts up and down the shore.  each minute that passes  becomes brighter.  welcome today.   as i head back,  i see that you have awaken,  and are waiting for me up on the patio.  she is my lighthouse,  and i am the lost ship without her.   good morning hug,  i love you kiss.   we sit on the swinging bench and sip on our coffees,  watching the seagulls squawk and circle the waters,  searching for their breakfast.  a carefree morning of relaxing and talking takes a break when our little one awakes and cries for us to come pick him up.   i set my mug on the textured glass table top,  i start making my airplane noises and raise him up into the air,  filling the air with his baby laugh.  beach side memories.   swim suits,  sunscreen and the baby’s beach hat;  a family,  the beach and the summer sun,  the day ahead.  the circus slowly filters on the tan sands of the coast.     just by walking off out patio,  we have beat the crowd.  the crashing of the waves,  and the rushing of the waters up on shore becomes closer and closer.   there you lay on the beach blanket,  the sun soaking your skin,  early afternoon tan.  you catch me looking at you and you push down your sunglasses,  giving me a returned look and smile.   i take our son into the water to introduce him to the liquid surface.  a look of wonder,  a look of confusion soon disappears with a laugh and a smile.  splashing his arms in and out of the waters,  i hold him tight.  i laugh and playfully spin him around,  up and down,    and he accidentally chokes on some water.  catching his breath,  he lets out a cry,  and you come rushing up to see if he’s ok.   once he calms,  we walk a while up the shore and head towards the beach side restaurant,  catching a break from the mid days heat.   a bite to eat,  and we return to our sandy beds of cartoon and sport team towels.  he had fallen asleep in your arms and i quickly take a picture.  i adjust the beach umbrella to block out the sun from your eyes.  after another hour of splashing in the ocean and bathing  in the sun,  we head back indoors.  there we all crash on the soft couch,  im holding you while you hold the baby,  and you quickly doze off.  i quietly  turn on the game and i soon follow suit to taking a nap.  baby gets restless after his hour nap and lets out his hunger cry.  waking,  we get up.  as you go to feed him,  i walk to get something to drink in time to watch the seventh inning stretch.  as you and the baby finish,  we head upstairs to get ready for the night out.  the baby plays inside the crib and we start our showers.   i get in first and wash off the sand grit and sea salt,  wash my hair and dry my self off.  quickly you do the same and i greet you with your towel.   the bathroom full of steam,  quickly  the passion is met.   your smile can say a thousand words,  and my thousand words can make you smile.  we dress and bathe the little one and set off for the night.  dinner out,  a tourist trap souvenir shoppe  full of gaudy trinkets,  shirts and stickers saying that we were here.  dinner of fresh fish by the seaside sunset,  and by time the drive home ended,  baby was fast asleep,   and ready for the next day.  we lay him in his crib,  and we stand and watch him sleep.  something so perfect,  peacefully sleeping,  dreaming of who knows what,  was just there making us smile and standing there in awe.  retreating to our bed,  i fall in love with you all over again.  if i could only tell her,  show her,  what she means to me.  if i could,  it wouldn’t even begin the task.  the sun kiss’d skin,  the way her hair sits upon her shoulders.  her eyes and all that makes her,  her.  i needed her.  she is my lighthouse,  and i am the lost ship without her.  slowly as the night crept in,  the moon that drifted away,  crept back into the night time painting and sparkled its image onto the water’s surface.  one by one,  the stars come out to play.   still,  the waves crashing ashore fills the sleepy air. and off in the distance,  the light house shines.   under the covers we hold each other close.  gently the ceiling fan circulates the scent of sea salt air,  and cools the room.  the sun rises slowly, and cracks its light  just above the watered horizon.   the twilight of the night slowly fades into the mixture of  orange,  pink,  soft purple, a  new days dawn.  the crescent of the moon,  the twinkle of a nearby star.  i wake before way before the alarm was set to go off.   i let you and the baby sleep . . . . . . . . . .

c. 2013  BGW

a relaitive dream ; searching for the need

. . . . . . the words of an untamed tongue filled the air.  it started earlier in the day;   a blind sided punch in the face,  by invisible words and an invisible intention.  the smooth flow of the enjoyment of the day,  interrupted by a rip tide of  a hurt feeling.  what we said,  tossing back and forth,  word after word,  like a catcher and the pitcher,  we toss the words back and forth,  until one  errors the ball,  and one becomes victorious.  but as stubborn as both of  us are,  we refuse to give it up,  and we make this mound into a mountain,  never even seeing the damage we are doing.   every word, like a dagger,  with holding the anger;  not wanting to fight;   i hope you can see it.    because the anger can never overwhelm the love i have for you,  the feelings are just too strong,   take it or leave it,   here i am.  we ride this wave,   hold on,   hold on;   here as we save.  the door slams and i am left here,  talking to the walls;    i need you to help me fix this ( quickly).  quietly, opening the door,   i hear your  sobs,   tears ;   there you are,  with your head in your hands.   where do we go from her?.   i hate to see you cry,  and seeing crying breaks my heart.   and the love quickly sneaks back into the temporary cloaked heart.   i stand there,   seeing you sob and i ask myself. ” what i have done?”.    to make you cry,   was never was my intention.  it was a moment where i didn’t think of consequence,  and now im paying the price,  backfiring and hurting myself in the process.   what have i done?   i come quietly,   sitting next to you on the beds edge.   i put my arm around you,    and the comfort warms,   and your head sits upon my shoulder.    calmly,  the words speak,    spoke in a soft manner,    and the environment softens.   and when the explanation rolls out like the red carpet,   we find ourselves there,   in the spotlight.  in this moment,   we become stronger.   a defeat never winning the game,   because we have a lifetime to win the series,   break out of this temporary mold,   and  there i am.   to hold you close,  tell you softly,   im sorry.   the words of an untamed tongue filled the air.   it started earlier in the day;    a blind sided punch in the face,   by invisible words and an invisible intention.   i tell you i’m sorry,    ill pick up the pieces,   a heart like broken glass,  can you pick the pieces of this heart?;

all the thoughts  and all the words;

keep me awake on  some  nights –

the pictures that are in my head

act like a short film;   keep me wanting more

wishing that you were here,  riding through this,  with me tonight

here with me,   i hold you within my arms,  whispering  the love,  filling my heart.  . . . .

the next morning and i awake from my deep slumber.  wipe the sleep from my eyes,  and i leave you there sleeping.   i return to my desk and i start the writing that has built up inside this wondering mind.   there,  i find you and i,   laughing ing in a park,  child in the sandbox;   here we all are.    maybe im the trouble,    and maybe im the paradise.    and that’s where we find each other,    in the sandy paradise,    and i reach out and my fingers touch nothing but the loneliness of emptiness,   and the memory haunts in side .  i need you; to talk to need you.   i reach out,   and my fingers touch nothing.   only the loneliness of emptiness.   haunted by the memory of your presence,   the memory;   never having  passed.   the memory haunted ,  but only sighted by these eyes.   my mind stirs and finds you beside me.  laughing once again, a laughter long since forgotten; where are you now?.   the bodies linger still.  turned to dust,  inhaled by the generations,   no longer recognizably human compasion.   and i am alone.   consumed by and consuming spirits of another sort.  accompanied in conversation by the clink of ice,   in the heavy bottomed glass,  the sloshing  of the scotch within.    i am;   the last king of the lonely.   the face in the end.    the face in the end, there i am.   i wake only in the emptiness,  and you are not there,   you are not there.  but there in the mist of the days dawn,  i come upon the face,  that is you.   oh yeah,  there you are.    but i’ve been lost, somewhere in space,  the coming back down,  maybe wishful thinking,  but here i am anyway,  and waiting, i missed the show.  come back down,  into this atmosphere,  once again, im with you.  and here you are,  hand in hand,  there we are,  giving each other our hearts,  i need you, and you need me.

all the thoughts,   and all the words

keep me awake on  some nights –

the pictures that are in my head

act like a short film;   keep me wanting more

wishing that you were here,  riding through this,  with me tonight

here with me,  i hold you within my arms,  whispering  the love,  the  filling of  our hearts.  we are complete

we are complete. . . . . .

and there, the summers air fills

dry and  unforseen.

where does that leave us?

a faceless memory

forever never saying i love you

never was in my cards,  do you see me, now

with a little discretion,

saying i love you,   and never coming out and saying it

because you already knew it,   and there i am..

trying to say im sorry,  and pretending that im ok,

when im torn in pieces,  deep inside this  heart,  can you pick up these pieces?!!

i need you,  seeking the support in you,  and never seeing you,  and now you are gone

but that’s ok,  and ill be there, catching every tear drop,  every lost  “z” in the snore

here i am,  and here you are,  looking above what we show,  and  this regret turns to promise…

and here we are…..

c. 2013  BGW