and so i died

and so I died!

in morning dawn,

in the provoking pain,

  in an echoing goodbye! 

  i felt the falling tear drops

breaking my heart

from well below my feet;

go Hide and I’ll seek

go hide and I’ll seek!

the happiness Is hungover;

the goodbye,

unforeseen

was hung upon the doorknob waiting!

 the full moon gave way

in the provoking pain

of an echoing goodbye;

i quickly awoke as the tear drops

dripped memories;

pooled below my feet

I died

in a morning dawn;

the Provoking pain

in an echoing goodbye

i felt the falling tear drops

breaking my heart

from well below my feet

go hide and I’ll seek

go hide and I’ll seek

c. 2018 bgw

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pictures on the wall

somewhere between

the memory of our days

far away;

she hung over the haunting of the why’s

and in the why not’s of doubting

she fades away;

quickly as the fireplace roared

slow dancing shadows slipped between

the pictures on the wall

tears in our dreams shatter

crashes

as we faded away

//

i wrote these words

   when i was meant to love you;

but she slowly faded away

  and i quickly left  these words,

somewhere in time

//

her eyes, her eyes

said good-bye;

she faded away

escaping to somewhere

between the memory of our days

so far away

somewhere between the memory of our days

far away;

she hung over the haunting of the why’s

and why not’s of doubting

she faded away;

quickly as the fireplace roared

slow dancing shadows slipped between

the pictures on the wall

tears in our dreams shatter

crashes

as we faded away

   c.2018  bgw

i took a walk

i took a walk;

before the early autumn sun faded behind

in some sort of misty fog,

through these woods i walk;

distractions disappear

and thoughts are like moss,

catching them in a sighed squawk.

i took a walk.

the early morning in late October,

distractions were clear,

and yet seemed unforeseen.

nothing i could say to anybody

could never really explain my emotion or thought.

i felt trapped in a world that was dealt;

and as i walk,

with each step counted

with each autumn leaf fallen on the cold cobblestone path

the thought of you flashed between this and that,

what was and what could have been.

each step got me further away

and yet tightened the chain of the memories pain.

you are a summer’s sun;

in some deep forest winter scene;

on a carousel here i am.

the world that spins in a jar

full of Polaroids and untaken memories

here i walk through big lots of vast open prairie

swallowed by the big North Dakota sky.

in an early Saturday morning mist

i buttoned up my coat,

and took a deep breath.

the cold air surround my thoughts

as i mourned for yesterday’s death.

hope was a child we conceived together

but died in our arms from a form of carelessness.

oh, i took a walk;

because the pain became

before the early autumn sun

fading behind

in some sort of misty fog,

i took a walk to settle everything that wasn’t familiar.

i fought between the pain and freedom,

i fought between going back and just running away.

going back is and never will be an option,

but now, i am living without you and i must move on.

tomorrow always starts a brand new – no matter what.

so i must carry on!

today!,

i took a walk;

before the early autumn sun faded behind

in some sort of misty fog,

i took a walk and found myself again –

just a little bit at a time;

i took a walk

 

c. 2017  bgw

when winter lives in summer

the fireplace crackles

while the snow lightly fell outside the window;

each flake gently settling on the ground,

oh, when winter lives in summer!

what can i say about you?

nothing that i haven’t already said before, but can never say it enough.

the sparkling coloured eyes that looks into my eyes,

always whispering a thousand unspoken words!

a gentle tapping rain hitting the skylight,

quickly fills in the silence of the interrupted sleep.

the reflection of the beating of each others hearts,

exposed the nervousness within.

the candlelight flickers as it shows the smile, the grin;

exposing the beauty that is you.

you are so beautiful.

you are the desire that fills my emotion;

the way she whispers her words, the soft touch of  her hands,

caressing the mind and body.

this  passion filling our voids, needs and desires.

here within my hands,

it is you that i am holding close!

tonight,  here we are.

in some founded deep desire,

the passion

acts on the feelings within;

here i am!

your soft skin, your gentle kiss.

the warmth, the honesty.

here we are like some puzzle piece,

her hand fitting perfect in mine;

a gentle squeeze,  and i feel safe.

her face angelic,  and I’m lost within her eyes again.

endless thoughts and unbounded emotions cover my mind like a thick fog rolling into a cityscape;

she seeped through the cracks of  voidance,

everything i kept to myself,

everything i kept private

and everything behind everything in my life,  she knew all about it.

i wasn’t supposed to let that happen!

and yet she found a way in.

every physical moment apart,  she’s there,  knocking at the thought,

and every moment together is just never long enough!

the passion rises

as the sun sets below the sailing schooner’s deck.

the clink of a wine glass toast;

a dinner for two.

a drop of wax drips down the side of the candle,

flickering flame.

romance is endless like the sea.

her hair flows in the sailing breeze.

her face of electrifying beauty,

draws the desire deeper within my soul.

lost in the stars twilight,

the moonlight shimmer’s across the water’s surface.

she is my island,  my paradise.

she turns a cluster of words that scatter inside my head,

into a  poetic prose that is her; perfectly stated,

but never coming close to her breathtaking beauty.

so, what can i say about her?

nothing that i haven’t already said before but  i can never say it enough.

she makes me feel free.

she is the music to my words,  and i need her.

the fireplace crackles

while the snow lightly fell outside the window;

each flake gently settling on the ground,

oh, when winter lives in summer!

c. 2017  BGW

all that slips away (ll)

the moon shone its glow on the coastal waters,

the waves still crashing ashore.

i keep looking around,

thinking that you’d still be there,

but the reality of solitude

brought a chill of loneliness along with the sea’s breeze.

but after each step taken,

sinking in the sands,

i beg for the warming of the sun of yester;

//

knock on the door and there’s nobody home .

but still,  the stars guide the way

the intoxication of the salted air keeps me wanting more.

the peace that the beach brought,

now turned to a sharp sting of question.

the feet that sunk in the sands,

now freeze and feel like they’re in cement.

all that slips away –

the sea, the sand;

the moon and stars drifted all away,

and left me in the dark.

silence screams all around

and the darkness crawls upon my skin.

i cry out! and nothing comes tearing out of my mouth.

tossing and turning,  feeling like i’m suffocating,

i gasp for one last deep breath.

muscles tense and loose, slow to respond.

my mind races out of control.

panic leaps out from my throat and becomes lodged,

death in silence,  my thoughts race and cannot win.

//

i am there.

my eyes squint,

adjusting to the bright light of day.

a riverfront cityscape stands before me,

and something is horribly wrong.

streets that should be busy,

the cars that should be honking,

people who should be about,

were all void!; missing.

the water wasn’t flowing through the fountain,

and yet again,  silence deafen.

standing in the middle of the street,

shocked and all in awe,

i couldn’t believe my eyes.

the tall buildings of brick, steel,  and marble are all now lying in ruins,

crumbled in pieces on the ground.

a thick fog quickly rolled in and covered the recognizable ruins.

shouting for anyone to hear me! all my cry’s falling on complete nothingness,  emptiness.

i run down the street,  jumping over the obstacles of pieces of building,

running, feeling like i,m going in circles,

still i shout out for anyone to hear me;

“CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!!!”

i quickly run down to the river that once saved me in a nine count–

once again i freeze.

my eyes grew large in shock,

as i saw that the river had risen,

and swept away everything that was down on the front.

my heart beats faster as panic sets in.

where was i ?

i turn to run away from the rushing rising waters of the river.

i run faster and faster,

seeming like i was running like molasses,

more panic sets in ; trying like hell to get out of there.

the ground started to shake and the rest of what building walls stood,

now completely fell.

the black and white tiles,

scattered on the streets below,

the fountain statues now fell and broke apart.

the window glass now shattered and rained down on top of me.

still crying out for someone to hear,

my words turn to sheer bear calls.

i quickly try to run through the disaster,

and i run myself through walnut street and turned into our street where we live,  or lived.

i stop in shock and tears come pouring out of my eyes.

the sidewalk where i walked home every night after work,  now lay buckled.

the wooded gate and fence lies on the ground,

and the roof sunk in, windows broke.

i run up the cobblestone walk and rush through the door.

the front parlour  is now crowded with overturned books and furniture.

a mothers desk sat vacant.

i scream out your name,

desperately seeking your face,

silence answered and meet me in the entry.

i run up the torn stairs and rush to open every door,

yelling out for you;

an empty crib with unplayed toys.

“HELLLOOO,  CAN YOU HEAR ME,  IS ANYONE HERE?!!”

out of breath,  i stop out of sheer exhaustion.

the tears keep pouring out,

where was i ?

i lean against a wall and slide down it as i sat on the dirt covered carpeted floor.

my hands cover my face and i uncontrollably scream out  your name.

i reach out for my son,  but he doesn’t come up to me.

an unfamiliar emptiness and loneliness crawls up my skin.

as my hands wipe my face,  slowly the home i once knew,

slipped away and  left me in the dark.

silence falls all around and the darkness now crawls upon my skin.

i cry out, and nothing comes tearing out of my mouth.

tossing and turning,  feeling like i’m suffocating,

i gasp for one last deep breath.

muscles tense and loose,  slow to respond.

my mind races out of control.

panic leaps out from my throat and becomes lodged,

my thoughts race and cannot win.

without all these things in my life,  i am nothing.

//

as soon as the darkness rolls over my eyes and i gasp for one last breath,

reality quickly saves me and my eyes open.

sweat rolling down my face, tears still pouring out of me;

are you next to me,  can i feel the arms that comfort?

the hands that soothe,  or the voice that tells me that everything is ok?

the nightlight in the hall softly glows,

not leaving me in the dark.

from where you were, now faded away

my feet freeze and felt like they’re in cement.

in a blink of an eye,

all that slips away, please,

let me go back to the start,

where we started it all

c. 2013, 2017  BGW

a broken heart sinks and the disappearing dream blinks

hello to yesterday;

wake up and say good morning

work days ways;

gentle was the night –

when the moon shone bright!

these bouquets of flowers

aren’t gonna rebuild what was torn down/

break apart

concrete driveways

and pea gravel pathways;

i wont

because you did

i wont

because we broke

maybe

maybe i just didn’t

put the “and” between

you and me

//

it’s been awhile

but nothing really has changed

broken heart sinks and the disappearing dream blinks

the sharp shattering of a soul full of hope;

and yet i still stand

//

maybe

ill wake in the morning,

stretch and yawn.

shave my face till the dream cuts and bleeds out

//

ill shower and let the hot water wash away the work day

dry myself off and sit naked on the couch;

putting the gun in my mouth

and let all the thoughts and memories splatter onto the wall

//

if you ever wonder where i am

don’t ever think twice

i’ll be gone but here hiding

i’ll be here, still thinking of you

i’m here, still thinking about you

//

hello to yesterday

wake up and say good morning

work days ways;

gentle was the night –

when the moon shone bright

these bouquets of flowers

aren’t gonna rebuild what was torn down

break apart

concrete driveways

and pea gravel pathways;

i wont

because you did

i wont

because we broke

maybe

maybe i just didn’t

2017  bgw

winter’s chill

first eyes to wake

in a frost bitten forest.

the chill arose from deep within,

hit the snooze

and dreams sunk within the words

within a sought midnight lake.

ice melts

from the branches above;

an unseen path

covered by fallen leaves;

leading me to forgotten memories.

first eyes to wake

sought on and found an empty bed beside.

on a Saturday morning,

and found everything that was unsaid

floated away down by the riverside.

first eyes to wake

in a frost bitten forest.

the chill arose from deep within,

hit the snooze

and dreams sunk within a midnight lake.

ice melts

from the branches above

of braided emotion

between loving you and hurting me.

April’s rain melted frozen drift

and seen on ocean waves dancing without.

first eyes to wake

in a frost bitten forest.

last the chill arose from deep within,

and hit the snooze –

dreams sunk within a midnight lake.

first eyes to wake

in a frost bitten forest.

the chill arose from deep within,

hit the snooze

and dreams sunk within a midnight lake.

c 2017  bgw

beautiful haunting

the train slowed to a stop.

the whistle blew through the tears

as her soft lips left his.

his means couldn’t drive through,

so he erased the heartbreak.

in the wooded mountain tops

the silence spoke

and comforted all to that was.

but in all,  in the end

no one was ever gonna love him

like she did.

while the words were full of her,

his soul remained empty;

empty of what if’s

and echoing knockings of made up scenarios.

the train slowed to a stop;

the whistle blew through the tears

as her soft lips left his.

his means couldn’t drive through,

so he erased the heartbreak

breaking hers instead.

there on the floor

laid broken pieces of both heart and tears

and a hope of that

that could have been!

he sought and fought

while she found hope in a thought

and yet there on the floor

laid broken pieces of both of their heart and tears.

the train slowed to a stop.

the whistle blew through the tears

as her soft lips left his.

his means couldn’t drive through,

so he erased the heartbreak.

c.2016  bgw

where we start all over again (could it be)

the fire burns

in a fireplace glow.

words echo

in endless engravings.

a heart that beats deep

seeks more for within yours;

i set out to discover!

in the doorway

i found her in you

and you in her!

reflections of a diamond afternoon

reflects in my memory.

can i start all over again?

a past full of thorns

swallowing it all whole

can we start it all over again?

Christmas Eve danced

and New Years bargained

can we start all over again?

the fire burns

in a fireplace glow.

words echo

in endless engravings.

a heart that beats deep

seeks more for within yours

 

 

c.  2016  bgw

where the memory stings somewhere between you and me

between the thin glass,

candlelight flickers

and monstrous dreams seep between red wine sips.

reminiscing through kept images of a popped up memory,

songs dance with a deep emotion in the present.

the warmth of the Christmas dressed fireplace,

the crackling fire spews and pops sparks;

a memory walked into the neighborhood

and found a cul-de-sac roundabout of a snow covered past.

memories drove around

and made tracks in the snow.

my eyes trace the falling flakes

from the softly gently frosting window viewed.

the Canadian highway ran through my mind

as the heartland’s frost falls heavy on the silo’s hibernation.

guilt and honesty

never knew each other well

but i found myself between the two.

honesty drank until the guilt awoke;

guilt was blind when honesty never showed.

:kisses rose in the sunlight:

and haunted my soul under a polarized moon.

 ice crystals fall

and drips itself over the icicles hanging a distant memory.

somewhere between you and me

self-inflicted pain

took off in an unmanned plane;

somewhere between you and me.

between the thin glass,

candlelight flickers

and monstrous illusions seep between red wine sips.

reminiscing through kept images of a popped up memories

somewhere between you and me

c.2016  bgw