wayward waltz

cobwebs cover my skin

crippled hands

crumbling

throat so dry,

words choke upon the tongue;

sight took fight

in a blinded reward

blackenedness leaped up

as to swallow all the pain

and yet, darkness left me surrounded

by its own misery,

by my own selfishness!

there I sat,

suffocating in my unechoed breath

tied to this chair,

in suffocation I scream!

skin hanging from broken bones

love flashing in an unreturned kiss

loss;

let go!

you were!;

and now I am!

rope tied tight, look upon my eyes!

look upon my eyes!

seeking was sought

but ‘twas nothing but a gleam

breathe!

barely?

barely breathing in these thoughts

barely in consciousness

flashing back and forth

in everything I was!!

cobwebs cover my skin

crippled hands

crumbling

throat so dry,

words choke upon the tongue

sight took fight

in a blinded reward;

blackenedness leaped up

as to swallow all the pain

and yet, darkness left me surrounded

by its own misery, by my own selfishness

there I sat,

suffocating in my unechoed breath

life faded in a deep black

as the wayward waltz lead me back

faded into a forsaken midnight darkening

i sat as my eyes closed,

cobwebs cover my skin

crippled hands

crumbling

throat so dry,

words choke upon the tongue

sight took fight

in a blinded reward

death drew my silent darkened soul

my last breath called upon death

to take my darkened soul

words choke upon the tongue

sight took fight

in a blinded reward

was is I found

in a wayward waltz

c. 2018 bgw

the needle

from the greyish bedroom window

oh, what i saw!

upon the cold, white winter’s chill;

from behind the curtains draw,

was a cold ghostly stare peeking, looking down;

behind the pictures of thought

there,  lurking behind an old graveyard stone

from within eyes that shine bright

like a needle injection,

pain draws in familiarity

in any given darkness

in the bare winter tree groves

the wind cuts, whispers and speaks

between the naked branches

from the greyish bedroom window

oh, what i saw

upon the cold, white winter’s chill;

from behind the curtains draw,

from the behind the chilled dawning glass

the breath reflects and fogs.

to mine i have none!

the long needle slowly injects the pain

even before the brewing of coffee!

the morning broke open,

shining in its greyish winter’s glory

from the greyish bedroom window

oh, what i saw!

upon the cold, white winter’s chill…

c. 2018 bgw

out where lighthouses shine

in billowing

cold salty winds,

deep within the frozen waters

are the thoughts that brine;

where lighthouses shine,

out from the offing

where memories flux

they forever come to shore

in current tides

and washes upon my feet.

the salty air billows

and draws deep

within the sea.

the thoughts that brine well within,

are sunken below

sought in, i seek out;

in the frozen deep

in the icy blue ocean of memories;

forever remembering..

c. 2018  bgw

tangoed and tangled

as i woke in the morning sands,

i watched my dreams come and go.

like the powerful crashing symphonic waves washing ashore

thoughts of her come and go.

tangoed and tangled

i’ve watched her come and go

at no one’s fault but my own!

her face appears between the wishing and wanting,

woven between these memories i keep

i stand here with my thoughts

reflected in revisiting dream –

i stand in the morning sands

as my hollowed soul starts to fill

with the dawning sun gazing!

looking out afar,

i stare past the distant awaiting horizon

as the deep salted breeze

whispered past my thoughts.

here i stand the waves symphonic song

as the moonlight brightly seeks

as desire peeks;

breaks me down and carries me away.

as i woke in the morning sands,

i watched my dreams come and go.

 

 

c.2017 bgw

 

hollow coves

hollow coves,

loving;

loveless waters.

seek! ;

and be sought.

follow dreams

and leave such behind!

hollow coves,

sail on mirrored waves;

quietly i whisper in a forbidden forest i seek.

hollow coves.

canoe.

i paddle, cutting the silent waters

slicing through the cold fog;

damp and heavy.

where day is headed,

into a deep and dark navy;

the moon faces one in many.

and there do i; can i

wrap its welcome around you.

hollow coves.

 

c. 2017  bgw

 

though these woods

through these woods i walk;

distractions disappear

and thoughts quickly fly around

as i catch them in a sighed squawk.

//

through these, autumn colours fall

i have committed these trespasses

and put myself on this stake

and under the fire of regret, i will burn

//

the faces in the window

are the ones that are recognized in remembering what once was;

but know i can not continue

seeking for what i had; who’s to say we were fair?

//

through these woods i walk;

woods of thick brush and mighty trees; here stands my life.

autumn colours and thick evergreen fur

i stand in the woods i created; lost and sorry

//

through these woods i walk;

distractions disappear

and thoughts quickly fly around

as i catch them in a sighed squawk

//

a future will be haunted everyday

from what was a beautiful yesterday;

for yesterday had you there

and regrets that i hold, i can not carry

//

the snow began to fall quietly as i headed back to the cabin.

and there, i brushed off the chill and sat by the fire.

for yesterday had you there

regrets that i hold, i can not carry and i am sorry.

//

through these woods i walk;

distractions disappear

and thoughts quickly fly around

as i catch them in a sighed squawk

c. 2017 bgw

canvas

i have seen you

in charcoal pencil

and pastel oils

upon canvas i have dreamt;

eyes of shimmering light

hair of softening silk

i have painted you;

in dreams i have seen

choral thoughts

melodic song

poetic pain

in dreams i have seen;

i have seen you

in charcoal pencil

and pastel oils

upon canvas i have dreamt;

eyes of shimmering light

hair of softening silk

i have painted you;

in dreams i have seen

i have painted you

 

c 2017  bgw

 

i took a walk

i took a walk;

before the early autumn sun faded behind

in some sort of misty fog,

through these woods i walk;

distractions disappear

and thoughts are like moss,

catching them in a sighed squawk.

i took a walk.

the early morning in late October,

distractions were clear,

and yet seemed unforeseen.

nothing i could say to anybody

could never really explain my emotion or thought.

i felt trapped in a world that was dealt;

and as i walk,

with each step counted

with each autumn leaf fallen on the cold cobblestone path

the thought of you flashed between this and that,

what was and what could have been.

each step got me further away

and yet tightened the chain of the memories pain.

you are a summer’s sun;

in some deep forest winter scene;

on a carousel here i am.

the world that spins in a jar

full of Polaroids and untaken memories

here i walk through big lots of vast open prairie

swallowed by the big North Dakota sky.

in an early Saturday morning mist

i buttoned up my coat,

and took a deep breath.

the cold air surround my thoughts

as i mourned for yesterday’s death.

hope was a child we conceived together

but died in our arms from a form of carelessness.

oh, i took a walk;

because the pain became

before the early autumn sun

fading behind

in some sort of misty fog,

i took a walk to settle everything that wasn’t familiar.

i fought between the pain and freedom,

i fought between going back and just running away.

going back is and never will be an option,

but now, i am living without you and i must move on.

tomorrow always starts a brand new – no matter what.

so i must carry on!

today!,

i took a walk;

before the early autumn sun faded behind

in some sort of misty fog,

i took a walk and found myself again –

just a little bit at a time;

i took a walk

 

c. 2017  bgw

when winter lives in summer

the fireplace crackles

while the snow lightly fell outside the window;

each flake gently settling on the ground,

oh, when winter lives in summer!

what can i say about you?

nothing that i haven’t already said before, but can never say it enough.

the sparkling coloured eyes that looks into my eyes,

always whispering a thousand unspoken words!

a gentle tapping rain hitting the skylight,

quickly fills in the silence of the interrupted sleep.

the reflection of the beating of each others hearts,

exposed the nervousness within.

the candlelight flickers as it shows the smile, the grin;

exposing the beauty that is you.

you are so beautiful.

you are the desire that fills my emotion;

the way she whispers her words, the soft touch of  her hands,

caressing the mind and body.

this  passion filling our voids, needs and desires.

here within my hands,

it is you that i am holding close!

tonight,  here we are.

in some founded deep desire,

the passion

acts on the feelings within;

here i am!

your soft skin, your gentle kiss.

the warmth, the honesty.

here we are like some puzzle piece,

her hand fitting perfect in mine;

a gentle squeeze,  and i feel safe.

her face angelic,  and I’m lost within her eyes again.

endless thoughts and unbounded emotions cover my mind like a thick fog rolling into a cityscape;

she seeped through the cracks of  voidance,

everything i kept to myself,

everything i kept private

and everything behind everything in my life,  she knew all about it.

i wasn’t supposed to let that happen!

and yet she found a way in.

every physical moment apart,  she’s there,  knocking at the thought,

and every moment together is just never long enough!

the passion rises

as the sun sets below the sailing schooner’s deck.

the clink of a wine glass toast;

a dinner for two.

a drop of wax drips down the side of the candle,

flickering flame.

romance is endless like the sea.

her hair flows in the sailing breeze.

her face of electrifying beauty,

draws the desire deeper within my soul.

lost in the stars twilight,

the moonlight shimmer’s across the water’s surface.

she is my island,  my paradise.

she turns a cluster of words that scatter inside my head,

into a  poetic prose that is her; perfectly stated,

but never coming close to her breathtaking beauty.

so, what can i say about her?

nothing that i haven’t already said before but  i can never say it enough.

she makes me feel free.

she is the music to my words,  and i need her.

the fireplace crackles

while the snow lightly fell outside the window;

each flake gently settling on the ground,

oh, when winter lives in summer!

c. 2017  BGW

a broken heart sinks and the disappearing dream blinks

hello to yesterday;

wake up and say good morning

work days ways;

gentle was the night –

when the moon shone bright!

these bouquets of flowers

aren’t gonna rebuild what was torn down/

break apart

concrete driveways

and pea gravel pathways;

i wont

because you did

i wont

because we broke

maybe

maybe i just didn’t

put the “and” between

you and me

//

it’s been awhile

but nothing really has changed

broken heart sinks and the disappearing dream blinks

the sharp shattering of a soul full of hope;

and yet i still stand

//

maybe

ill wake in the morning,

stretch and yawn.

shave my face till the dream cuts and bleeds out

//

ill shower and let the hot water wash away the work day

dry myself off and sit naked on the couch;

putting the gun in my mouth

and let all the thoughts and memories splatter onto the wall

//

if you ever wonder where i am

don’t ever think twice

i’ll be gone but here hiding

i’ll be here, still thinking of you

i’m here, still thinking about you

//

hello to yesterday

wake up and say good morning

work days ways;

gentle was the night –

when the moon shone bright

these bouquets of flowers

aren’t gonna rebuild what was torn down

break apart

concrete driveways

and pea gravel pathways;

i wont

because you did

i wont

because we broke

maybe

maybe i just didn’t

2017  bgw