the walk home (poets edition)

 

five p.m.

i’m walking home from a hard days work.

the concrete sidewalks,  i count the blocks, the cracks.

each step quicker than the last, i hurry home.

and as i walk in a hurried pace,  the greyish skies above open up.

one soft drop after another,  quickly follows another.

there,  pulling  the collar from my warm pea coat up around my cooling neck,

then quick  to slide the umbrella open for my shelter in motion.

the lamplight forms a glow as the english mist looms.

sounds of  wet pavement streets grow louder as the cars speed by – also on their way home.

i continue on until i meet home’s wooden gate –

the point where the workday is my past,  behind me i leave it far behind

and greeting the rest of the world that is in front me,  i am.

opening the creaking gate,

i jump over a growing rain puddle,

landing on the mossy covered cobblestone path that leads me to my castle.

i climb the few steps to the porch,

closing my portable shelter,

brushing the wetness off my jacket – meeting the door ahead.

reaching  in my pocket i grab the cold pieces of metal,  picking out the silver skeleton key and slid it into its  own home.

turning  the knob.  pushing the door open –

and there,  my eye first catches  my son playing blocks in the front parlour.

as a big smile comes across his smooth baby face, he gets up and walks shakily over to where i am

standing by holding my pant,  he hugs my leg.

my daughter sitting at her mothers desk,

working ever so diligently on her homework.

without disruption or looking up,  softly says “hey”.

i pick my son up to hug.

i take in a breath and smell the aroma of dinner basking in the surrounding.

drying her hands on her white apron,  she quickly unties it and slips off,  oh my wife.

oh! my wife,

she comes up to me and gives me a loving smile,

kiss me welcome, hug me love.

i set my canvas satchel down, along with my son

and i place the umbrella in the corner,

where the last of the raindrops fall upon the green slated floor below.

in the other corner of the entryway, i hang up my dampened coat on the coat rack .

heading  up stars for my shower,  start untying my tie.

i wash the off the days work,  and scrub off the workdays burden.

my wife knocks at the door and opens it.

and in her soft voice reminds me that i forgot my towel.

i see through the steamed glass as she tries to place the cotton towel on the hook beside the shower door.

i quickly open the glass door and gently grab her elbow,

wet laughter met by a warm embrace of a love that often goes without or forgotten – busy schedules, conflicting times.

quickly and quietly,  the passion brews.

laughing, we both dry off and quickly change into our evening attire of soft flannel pants and a dryer sheet scented t-shirts.

we head down to the dinner table,

i gather the kids as she makes the final preparations to the dinner meal.

we all sit,

all in our proper seating place,

and i smile,  i am.

i smile just watching my wife placing the bib on our youngest.

she catches a glimpse of me watching her, and replies with her beautiful  smile.

we all bow are heads and grace is spoken.

as my daughter speaks of thanksgiving,  i sneak a peek of my family there in the moment.

and in that quick moment,  i saw in slow motion,

a panoramic view of a family.

and in that moment,  i felt it.

simultaneously in my heart, body and mind,  that this is it.

this is what i live for,

this is what every single aspect of my life lives for.

this family, this house, our lives we share together.

working to live,  never living to work.

this is me.  i am.

after dinner, all homework done and the children are all worn out,  we put them to bed.

and we follow suit.

there, we listen to the silence, peaceful and relaxing.

a child-free moment,

soak it in.

i hold her until she falls asleep,

i quietly turn over and turn out the light.

the day has completed,

the crazy circle of  life will start all over again in dawns light

and the walk home awaits for me again.

 

c. 2013, 2014  bgw

midnight’s water

 

 

moon’s light sparkled and lit the tips of  midnight’s water

and yet darkness came and swallowed my sight

i found myself  sailing on the ocean of  hypocrisy

and in the rough waters i charge forward –

in a ship made of  strength – i find many starboard holes

i was left alone by a mutinied following

and there,  right where i was left –

i was drowning ,  long before i could leave lands shore.

a captain and his ship, led by his fooled soul  –  that is i

this civil war will always battle on well within ourselves

if the person who you are continues to fight with the person you  think you are

where is the freedom if one lives in an invisible cage of demons

this civil war will always battle on well within ourselves

if the person who you are continues to fight with the person you  think you are

where is the freedom if one lives in an invisible cage of demons –

moon’s light sparkled and lit the tips of midnight’s water

and yet darkness came and swallowed my sight

i found myself  sailing on the ocean of  hypocrisy

and in the rough waters i charge forward –

 

c. 2014  bgw

 

two hands

 

 

dust to dust

i lie myself down

and here i am

i’ve lost you,  and you’ve  lost  me.

the love shared is now alone and faded

sitting somewhere between loneliness and freedom.

stuck in between of what is and what was

and all that what was is only what we were –

two hands,  one lives  in one and the desire in the other

oh,  here i am

maybe it is all my fault

yet, in someway the judges may have seen it as me to be giving up.

oh, no!

though the living in anger and frustrating bitterness is no way to live

oh, no!

walking  down the road with each step and  a heavy heart

each step a  heartbeat  that a reminder for the way it was

a place where a past  lives in a present

but it’s too late now

it’s too late now….

oh,  but don’t you dare think that this isn’t killing me inside

the nights i lay awake  and think of a way to fix it all

but i just lie awake thinking of the way you made smile and laugh

and it kills me every night through the tears on an empty pillow

regrets and second thoughts haunts

dust to dust

i lie myself down

and here i am

stuck in between of what is and what was

and all that what was is only what you were

and here i am ending what was

and seeking a future with a seasoned haunting of us in a past

dust to dust

i lie myself down

and here i am

stuck in between of what is and what was

dust to dust

i lie myself down

and here i am

i’m losing you, and you’re  losing me

and the love that was alive,  now alone and faded

dust to dust

i lie myself down

 

c. 2014 bgw