i took a walk

i took a walk;

before the early autumn sun faded behind

in some sort of misty fog,

through these woods i walk;

distractions disappear

and thoughts are like moss,

catching them in a sighed squawk.

i took a walk.

the early morning in late October,

distractions were clear,

and yet seemed unforeseen.

nothing i could say to anybody

could never really explain my emotion or thought.

i felt trapped in a world that was dealt;

and as i walk,

with each step counted

with each autumn leaf fallen on the cold cobblestone path

the thought of you flashed between this and that,

what was and what could have been.

each step got me further away

and yet tightened the chain of the memories pain.

you are a summer’s sun;

in some deep forest winter scene;

on a carousel here i am.

the world that spins in a jar

full of Polaroids and untaken memories

here i walk through big lots of vast open prairie

swallowed by the big North Dakota sky.

in an early Saturday morning mist

i buttoned up my coat,

and took a deep breath.

the cold air surround my thoughts

as i mourned for yesterday’s death.

hope was a child we conceived together

but died in our arms from a form of carelessness.

oh, i took a walk;

because the pain became

before the early autumn sun

fading behind

in some sort of misty fog,

i took a walk to settle everything that wasn’t familiar.

i fought between the pain and freedom,

i fought between going back and just running away.

going back is and never will be an option,

but now, i am living without you and i must move on.

tomorrow always starts a brand new – no matter what.

so i must carry on!

today!,

i took a walk;

before the early autumn sun faded behind

in some sort of misty fog,

i took a walk and found myself again –

just a little bit at a time;

i took a walk

 

c. 2017  bgw

phantasm

perforated days

hid from the high noon

and the midnight moon

jaded and naked through night

the London rain fell in mist

and washed upon the alleyway cobblestones;

footstep by footstep there i walk

between the well lit windows

and the barking dogs fence;

there, memories danced with raindrops

all that was, all that could have been

nevermore

could i ignore.

evergreen peaks

are breathless in a snowfall fog

sitting silent in Decembers song

perforated days

hid from the high noon

and the midnight moon

jaded and naked through night

i close my eyes.

without sleep, i dream;

i close my eyes wide open

in perforated days

hidden from the high noon

and the midnight moon.

jaded and naked through night,

the London rain fell in mist

and washed upon the alleyway cobblestones…

c.2017 bgw

autumn’s sea

forest of depth coloured green,

echoing

a cool water stream

flowing

whispering

within;

sunlight sprinkled,

dancing

between waving leafs.

a setting sunlight’s beam

peeking,

shining down on me.

autumn’s sea

gently kisses the moon.

a campfire crackles

and warms the chilled October air;

memories filled the tent

as i closed my eyes and dreamt.

forest of depth coloured green,

echoing

   a cool water stream

flowing.

between the pines the winds whisper.

in  moon shadows,

down below

memories filled the tent

as i closed my eyes and dreamt.

c.2017  bgw

when winter lives in summer

the fireplace crackles

while the snow lightly fell outside the window;

each flake gently settling on the ground,

oh, when winter lives in summer!

what can i say about you?

nothing that i haven’t already said before, but can never say it enough.

the sparkling coloured eyes that looks into my eyes,

always whispering a thousand unspoken words!

a gentle tapping rain hitting the skylight,

quickly fills in the silence of the interrupted sleep.

the reflection of the beating of each others hearts,

exposed the nervousness within.

the candlelight flickers as it shows the smile, the grin;

exposing the beauty that is you.

you are so beautiful.

you are the desire that fills my emotion;

the way she whispers her words, the soft touch of  her hands,

caressing the mind and body.

this  passion filling our voids, needs and desires.

here within my hands,

it is you that i am holding close!

tonight,  here we are.

in some founded deep desire,

the passion

acts on the feelings within;

here i am!

your soft skin, your gentle kiss.

the warmth, the honesty.

here we are like some puzzle piece,

her hand fitting perfect in mine;

a gentle squeeze,  and i feel safe.

her face angelic,  and I’m lost within her eyes again.

endless thoughts and unbounded emotions cover my mind like a thick fog rolling into a cityscape;

she seeped through the cracks of  voidance,

everything i kept to myself,

everything i kept private

and everything behind everything in my life,  she knew all about it.

i wasn’t supposed to let that happen!

and yet she found a way in.

every physical moment apart,  she’s there,  knocking at the thought,

and every moment together is just never long enough!

the passion rises

as the sun sets below the sailing schooner’s deck.

the clink of a wine glass toast;

a dinner for two.

a drop of wax drips down the side of the candle,

flickering flame.

romance is endless like the sea.

her hair flows in the sailing breeze.

her face of electrifying beauty,

draws the desire deeper within my soul.

lost in the stars twilight,

the moonlight shimmer’s across the water’s surface.

she is my island,  my paradise.

she turns a cluster of words that scatter inside my head,

into a  poetic prose that is her; perfectly stated,

but never coming close to her breathtaking beauty.

so, what can i say about her?

nothing that i haven’t already said before but  i can never say it enough.

she makes me feel free.

she is the music to my words,  and i need her.

the fireplace crackles

while the snow lightly fell outside the window;

each flake gently settling on the ground,

oh, when winter lives in summer!

c. 2017  BGW

all that slips away (ll)

the moon shone its glow on the coastal waters,

the waves still crashing ashore.

i keep looking around,

thinking that you’d still be there,

but the reality of solitude

brought a chill of loneliness along with the sea’s breeze.

but after each step taken,

sinking in the sands,

i beg for the warming of the sun of yester;

//

knock on the door and there’s nobody home .

but still,  the stars guide the way

the intoxication of the salted air keeps me wanting more.

the peace that the beach brought,

now turned to a sharp sting of question.

the feet that sunk in the sands,

now freeze and feel like they’re in cement.

all that slips away –

the sea, the sand;

the moon and stars drifted all away,

and left me in the dark.

silence screams all around

and the darkness crawls upon my skin.

i cry out! and nothing comes tearing out of my mouth.

tossing and turning,  feeling like i’m suffocating,

i gasp for one last deep breath.

muscles tense and loose, slow to respond.

my mind races out of control.

panic leaps out from my throat and becomes lodged,

death in silence,  my thoughts race and cannot win.

//

i am there.

my eyes squint,

adjusting to the bright light of day.

a riverfront cityscape stands before me,

and something is horribly wrong.

streets that should be busy,

the cars that should be honking,

people who should be about,

were all void!; missing.

the water wasn’t flowing through the fountain,

and yet again,  silence deafen.

standing in the middle of the street,

shocked and all in awe,

i couldn’t believe my eyes.

the tall buildings of brick, steel,  and marble are all now lying in ruins,

crumbled in pieces on the ground.

a thick fog quickly rolled in and covered the recognizable ruins.

shouting for anyone to hear me! all my cry’s falling on complete nothingness,  emptiness.

i run down the street,  jumping over the obstacles of pieces of building,

running, feeling like i,m going in circles,

still i shout out for anyone to hear me;

“CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!!!”

i quickly run down to the river that once saved me in a nine count–

once again i freeze.

my eyes grew large in shock,

as i saw that the river had risen,

and swept away everything that was down on the front.

my heart beats faster as panic sets in.

where was i ?

i turn to run away from the rushing rising waters of the river.

i run faster and faster,

seeming like i was running like molasses,

more panic sets in ; trying like hell to get out of there.

the ground started to shake and the rest of what building walls stood,

now completely fell.

the black and white tiles,

scattered on the streets below,

the fountain statues now fell and broke apart.

the window glass now shattered and rained down on top of me.

still crying out for someone to hear,

my words turn to sheer bear calls.

i quickly try to run through the disaster,

and i run myself through walnut street and turned into our street where we live,  or lived.

i stop in shock and tears come pouring out of my eyes.

the sidewalk where i walked home every night after work,  now lay buckled.

the wooded gate and fence lies on the ground,

and the roof sunk in, windows broke.

i run up the cobblestone walk and rush through the door.

the front parlour  is now crowded with overturned books and furniture.

a mothers desk sat vacant.

i scream out your name,

desperately seeking your face,

silence answered and meet me in the entry.

i run up the torn stairs and rush to open every door,

yelling out for you;

an empty crib with unplayed toys.

“HELLLOOO,  CAN YOU HEAR ME,  IS ANYONE HERE?!!”

out of breath,  i stop out of sheer exhaustion.

the tears keep pouring out,

where was i ?

i lean against a wall and slide down it as i sat on the dirt covered carpeted floor.

my hands cover my face and i uncontrollably scream out  your name.

i reach out for my son,  but he doesn’t come up to me.

an unfamiliar emptiness and loneliness crawls up my skin.

as my hands wipe my face,  slowly the home i once knew,

slipped away and  left me in the dark.

silence falls all around and the darkness now crawls upon my skin.

i cry out, and nothing comes tearing out of my mouth.

tossing and turning,  feeling like i’m suffocating,

i gasp for one last deep breath.

muscles tense and loose,  slow to respond.

my mind races out of control.

panic leaps out from my throat and becomes lodged,

my thoughts race and cannot win.

without all these things in my life,  i am nothing.

//

as soon as the darkness rolls over my eyes and i gasp for one last breath,

reality quickly saves me and my eyes open.

sweat rolling down my face, tears still pouring out of me;

are you next to me,  can i feel the arms that comfort?

the hands that soothe,  or the voice that tells me that everything is ok?

the nightlight in the hall softly glows,

not leaving me in the dark.

from where you were, now faded away

my feet freeze and felt like they’re in cement.

in a blink of an eye,

all that slips away, please,

let me go back to the start,

where we started it all

c. 2013, 2017  BGW

a broken heart sinks and the disappearing dream blinks

hello to yesterday;

wake up and say good morning

work days ways;

gentle was the night –

when the moon shone bright!

these bouquets of flowers

aren’t gonna rebuild what was torn down/

break apart

concrete driveways

and pea gravel pathways;

i wont

because you did

i wont

because we broke

maybe

maybe i just didn’t

put the “and” between

you and me

//

it’s been awhile

but nothing really has changed

broken heart sinks and the disappearing dream blinks

the sharp shattering of a soul full of hope;

and yet i still stand

//

maybe

ill wake in the morning,

stretch and yawn.

shave my face till the dream cuts and bleeds out

//

ill shower and let the hot water wash away the work day

dry myself off and sit naked on the couch;

putting the gun in my mouth

and let all the thoughts and memories splatter onto the wall

//

if you ever wonder where i am

don’t ever think twice

i’ll be gone but here hiding

i’ll be here, still thinking of you

i’m here, still thinking about you

//

hello to yesterday

wake up and say good morning

work days ways;

gentle was the night –

when the moon shone bright

these bouquets of flowers

aren’t gonna rebuild what was torn down

break apart

concrete driveways

and pea gravel pathways;

i wont

because you did

i wont

because we broke

maybe

maybe i just didn’t

2017  bgw

you are (more than these words)

sometimes curly, sometimes straight.

light to dark and dark to light.

her hair changes upon season and mood.

eyes shine, glimmer like diamonds.

she’s a springtime song, thawing out the winter’s chill.

her face, smooth and delicate.

her silence says a thousand words; her tone soft and angelic.

her presence, like soft falling snow, graceful and quiet.

the elegance, the beauty, outshines the sun on any given day.

when her smiles make an appearance,

my heart becomes weak, and falls again.

her skin, creamy; glowing.

her heart, caring and giving.

a dedicated humanitarian, her modesty might say otherwise.

a seeker of truth, dwelling within the words.

a wonderful mother, a juggling between life’s acts and little wonders.

a wife that only a man can dream of.

wishful thinking to my reality.

she is a symphony in life.

a rock upon which i can lean on.

a friend no one can be, the best.

you are.

you are more than these words,

more than what my painting can say.

you are the essence of my desire.

oh, my love!, my heart longs when you are away!,

and when you are within these arms, i beg for forever!

c.2013, 2017 BGW

excerpt from a letter

the rain drizzled upon the cold awaiting pavement.

the heavenly clouds broke apart,

and the moon sat and the sun shone.

a deep and heavy, misty fog lifted;

i awoke

between the tragedy

of realizing about the night before

and the dreaming about of still having you.

i am lost.

my soul lays empty!

the morning rain taps on the window pane by my bed.

my body frozen, though thawed

entertained between thoughts and memories.

i gazed through that window

and yet didn’t move.

my day paralyzed by not having you!

a mind wonders and a soul stings.

as i am sure that a million people have said –

i am nothing without you, absolutely nothing!

but let me say this :

“i am nothing without you, absolutely nothing!

and yet, if i am to remain nothing,

at least i know i can say that i was something when i had you”

c.2017  bgw

winter’s chill

first eyes to wake

in a frost bitten forest.

the chill arose from deep within,

hit the snooze

and dreams sunk within the words

within a sought midnight lake.

ice melts

from the branches above;

an unseen path

covered by fallen leaves;

leading me to forgotten memories.

first eyes to wake

sought on and found an empty bed beside.

on a Saturday morning,

and found everything that was unsaid

floated away down by the riverside.

first eyes to wake

in a frost bitten forest.

the chill arose from deep within,

hit the snooze

and dreams sunk within a midnight lake.

ice melts

from the branches above

of braided emotion

between loving you and hurting me.

April’s rain melted frozen drift

and seen on ocean waves dancing without.

first eyes to wake

in a frost bitten forest.

last the chill arose from deep within,

and hit the snooze –

dreams sunk within a midnight lake.

first eyes to wake

in a frost bitten forest.

the chill arose from deep within,

hit the snooze

and dreams sunk within a midnight lake.

c 2017  bgw

painted and burned

unforgotten memories

painted and burned;

in these words

there you live.

read on!,

knowing that you are these!

when a past drinks up the present,

the daydreams finds itself

flirting with an uncharted future.

unforgotten memories

typed up and dusted off;

in these words

there you live.

letter by letter,

words forming

painting memories.

sentence by sentence

verse by verse

emotion pouring forth!

find me

on the other side of the paper

with unforgotten memories

painted and burned;

in these words

there you live in my mind.

c. 2017 bgw